Driftin' away
by petnurser
Summary: The radio makes Lee think.........


When: Between the 2nd and 3rd seasons

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What: I don't usually like songfic, but from the first time I heard this song, all I could hear was Lee's heart screaming to be heard. The song is "Driftin Away". It was written by Tommy Simms and appears on the Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines album In the Life of Chris Gaines. I make no money from any of this and no copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Warner Bros. and Shoot the Moon.

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He woke with a worse headache then he went to bed with. Those stupid over the counter pain pills had failed again. His bedside clock read 2:38AM. God, he had been in bed for only about 2 hours. And the dreams.... All of them had Amanda in them. Why? What was going on? Sure, they worked together. He had actually begun to think of her as his friend, but some of the dreams that he was having could actually make **him** blush! He and Amanda? Nah!! Then again, they have been getting along quite well lately. He hadn't been on a date in a while either. The thought of being close to a woman other than her...well, left him cold. 

Still, the thought of sticking with one woman frightened him. That was emotional attachment; something to be avoided. He was poison, he knew that. Everyone that he had ever loved had left him, usually by death. There were his parents, Dorothy, his last partner. No, it was safer if he didn't get close to Amanda. She had 2 small boys, how could he explain to them that she "went away" because of him. Yet, tonight he couldn't shake the idea that all he wanted was the 'normalcy' of Amanda King and her family.

Three o'clock. He had to sleep. Maybe a drink would help. No, that's why he had the headache in the first place. Maybe if he turned on the radio he could relax. He didn't know the song that he was listening to, but the melody was soothing. Until he heard the lyrics. Oh my gosh, this hits a little too close to home! His sleep deprived brain panicked until reason set in. 'Relax, it's only a song' He had a hard time believing, though, that someone or something wasn't sending him a message.

  
With all of my heart, I know I could love you  
But, with all of my soul, I'm driftin away  
With all of my mind, I know you could save me from myself  
And anything else.

  
With all of my strength, I wanna reach out for you  
With every breath, I call out your name  
With every step, I just wanna turn around and say  
Baby make it okay  


But I'm so afraid  
that you've forgiven me one too many times  
And I'm so afraid  
to give my heart again, just to have a change of mind  
And I'm not quite sure that you can trust me  
And I would hate to have you find me again  
Baby, like the wind, driftin away  


It blows and nobody knows where it's going to  
(I'm driftin away)  
It blows and nobody knows what it's gonna do

Suddenly he saw himself talking with Amanda, the words of the song flowing like an emotional plea for more time. He had yelled at her again. Her eyes showed the hurt, and the affection. It really did make him feel guilty. He knew that if he kept it up, someday she would run from him and then she and her family would be safe. In his dream state, the song played on and something in her eyes continued to haunt him

With all of my heart, I know I disappointed you  
And although I'm real sorry  
I don't know how to save this time  
But, if I would lose you  
I know I would go completely out of my mind  
I'm running out of time  
  
And I'm so afraid that you've forgiven me one too many times  
And I'm so afraid to give my heart again just to have a change of mind  
And I'm not quite sure that you can trust me  
And I would hate to have you find me again  
Baby, like the wind, driftin away

She knew him better than anyone else he knew, somehow she knew when he needed her most and when to resist his push away. She knew when he hurt and when he felt good. Somehow he knew that she would be the one to break the walls around his heart and give him a place to call home.  


  
  
It blows and nobody knows where it's going to  
(Driftin away)  
It blows and nobody knows what it's gonna do  
(You see my heart at night)  
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven's eyes  
(Fallin down)  
And somehow you know it's true, these tears that fall are fallin for you  
(Fallin for you)  
  
It blows and nobody knows where's it going to  
(Fallin down)  
It blows and nobody knows what it's gonna do  
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven's eyes  
And somehow you know it's true these tears that fall are for you  


Maybe he would stop his driftin away and accept the friendship that she offered. After all, it was just friendship, right?

The dreams that disturbed him now brought him comfort and when the alarm clock rang at six-thirty, Lee Stetson felt refreshed and well rested for the first time in a long time. He hummed in the shower. He smiled through his morning coffee and grinned while brushing his teeth. Today was the day that he stopped hiding behind the Scarecrow and showed the world Lee Stetson. Well, maybe not the whole world but one very important part of it. Today he said a silent prayer thanking the powers that be for train stations and red hats.


End file.
